Refuting Society’s Myths About Aging
I wrote most of an article about this very topic the other day. Before I had a chance to post it, I got a link in my email from one of my favorite blogs “A Senior Portal” about this very same topic with almost the same bullet points! So, clearly, many of us are thinking along the same lines!
Here are the list of some destructive and sometimes downright silly myths we encounter on a daily basis in our society – false messages that I work hard to remind my clients, their families and myself aren’t true!
Myth: Depression is inevitable in older age.
FACT: Although growing older brings with it many challenges but many people are grappling with real issues which can be addressed and resolved with some help. Things like therapy for lifelong personality patterns and coping skills that have become overtaxed with stressors. Coping skills have worked in the past and been forgotten can be brought back into the picture, and new healthy habits can be learned and practiced. Solutions can be found to deal with concerns about things like new living arrangements, finances, chronic health problems, the loss of loved ones and their own mortality. Read: How Therapy Can Help In Golden Years.
Myth: Older people aren’t givers to society, they’re takers.
FACT: Read about how older people contribute to society through working longer, through being consumers, babysitting, caregiving, mentoring, volunteering, and more. Why Seniors Matter — and How They Contribute to Our Everyday Lives.
Myth: Cognitive decline in older age goes without saying.
FACT: One of my favorite advocates for older people was Dr Gene Cohen, a renowned geriatric psychiatrist and “buster of aging-myths”, wrote “ science shows that brain cells do not die off as we age, but continue to grow.” Read more about his work on NPR’s blog. Also, read “The Older Mind May Just Be A Fuller Mind”, a great recent article from the wonderful New York Times blog The New Old Age.
Myth: Old people should be not seen and not heard.
FACT: Older people in our societies are the keepers of stories, of wisdom. Famed psychologist Joan Erikson tells the story how how she explored the root meaning of “wisdom” since she was being called “wise” all the time as she grew into her 90’s. To her surprise and yet it made sense, the root meaning of wisdom is “to know how to”. A lovely story she relates is how Margaret Meade told her about Alaskan red tail deer – older females lead the herd to water during times of drought because they are the ones who remember the old watering holes.
Myth: Older people aren’t sexy. 
FACT: Feeling sexy is not limited by age. There are many stories from nursing homes where residents are “teepee creeping” at night and enjoying intimacy. Retirement facilities of all sorts should allow for privacy for residents so that can retain their sense of sexuality and intimate relationships without fear of being barged in on.
Myth: Older people don’t benefit from therapy. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
FACT: See the “How Therapy Can Help” article link above.
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And here is more from My Senior Portal:
Myth: To be old is to be sick.
FACT: Even in advanced old age, most people are not disabled, and the proportion of older Americans who are disabled is going down, not up. Only a small percentage of older people live in nursing homes; the remainder live in the community at large.
Myth: Older adults are more depressed than younger adults.
FACT: Depression occurs more commonly in people who have medical problems. Some older people have more medical conditions than younger people do, so it may seem as if more older people are depressed.
Older adults who do face depression are finding that it doesn’t carry the same stigma that it did years ago. In fact, many well-respected people like the newsman Mike Wallace have found helpful treatment for their depression. They’ve also spread the word that depression—and treatment for it—are not things to be ashamed of.
Myth: Sex stops after 65.
FACT: Sexual activity does not have to stop once someone gets older. Researchers at Duke University’s Center for the Study of Aging and Human Development surveyed 254 men and women between the ages of 60 and 94 about their sexual activity. They found that these older individuals were still interested in sex and continued to have active sex lives.
Myth: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
FACT: As we age, we may not be able to learn new things as quickly as we did when we were younger. However, learning is a life-long process. Three things that are good for our minds as we age are regular physical activity, a strong social support system, and a belief in our own ability to handle what life has to offer.*
Myth: Older adults don’t pull their own weight.
Fact: One-third of older people work for pay. One-third work as volunteers in churches, hospitals, and other organizations. Many others provide much-needed assistance to family members, friends, and neighbors.*
Myth: It’s too late or it’s pointless to change bad habits in later life.
FACT: Certainly, it’s better to start healthy habits early, but the truth is, it’s almost never too late to benefit from healthy living. Even damage from decades of too much alcohol or fat-laden food, lack of exercise, or smoking can be reversed or limited. A fresh start can help a person recover lost abilities and decrease the risk of certain illnesses. In some cases, it can even improve a person’s health.*
Myth: Mental sharpness declines with age.
FACT: An active mind and clear thoughts go hand in hand. Reading, doing puzzles, and taking classes are excellent ways to challenge our brains. Writing to friends and hobbies like knitting and woodworking are also good for our minds.
* Adapted from the book Successful Aging by John W. Rowe, M.D., and Robert L. Kahn, Ph.D.