The Physical Pain of Grief

I want to talk about the pain of grieving. We all know the expression “You never get over it, you learn to live with it.” Somehow I thought that this was a description of the emotional state of affairs. It is that, I see. But I also am understanding firsthand that there is a physical pain with grief. When we say it hurts, we often mean it actually also hurts in our bodies. We physically feel our feelings.

I think “learning to live with it” involves learning to live with the physical sensation of pain, however it manifests in each of us. To not be afraid of it or to think something is wrong. This is part of the process.

It is of course good to check in with our medical doctors and make sure we are healthy in general. That said, this grief pain is something that comes and goes, arises and subsides and that is what we learn to live with. Like learning to live with waves that come in and go out.

Focusing on our physical health through things like walking, jogging, hiking, dancing, yoga, meditation, singing, massage, playing sports, eating high-quality delicious food – any of these avenues of somatic sensations – are important for nurturing our bodies which are also carrying the physical sensations of grief.

Tenderness towards ourselves, emotionally, spiritually, and also physically, is key on our path of healing.