ageism
The Three P’s: Pride, Pleasure & Purpose
The Three P’s: Pride, Pleasure and Purpose
A Simple Guide for How to Avoid Chronic Depression in Older Life
Recently a colleague told me about the “three P’s” which she teaches in workshops to older people. It’s such a simple yet helpful mantra to guide you in finding balance. Finding balance is one of your key developmental tasks in life, and especially so in older anastrozole years. Balance can help you avoid falling into chronic depression.
Older people are balancing provimed the combination of all of the life lessons they’ve been through, hopefully getting to some “wisdom” on and off at this point. Wisdom meaning, according to Joan Erikson PhD’s research a few years ago, “to know how to”.
They are balancing their anabolicstation.com growing needs for exercise, healthy eating, enough sleep, enough friends, enough mental stimulation, enough fun of various sorts that feeds their souls, enough contribution to the greater good, etc.
Which brings me back around to the “three P’s”. I would say that the Pride part is something a lot of my clients feel pretty good about. They are oftentimes proud of their careers or their families, or their contribution to others. The Pleasure part is, on the other hand, something they are figuring out and beginning to understand they need more of. That pleasure is critical in helping them find enjoyment in older years because it helps balance out the increasing number of challenges inherent in aging. Sometimes we brainstorm about what used to give them pleasure, what gives them pleasure now, and what they might like to try in the future given their capabilities at this point in their lives.
Pleasure is usually connoted by something that feels good visually, sound-wise, smell-wise, taste-wise and touch-wise. It also encompasses doing new things because the brain loves novelty.
The trick is to find “just enough” like in the Goldilocks story – not too much, not too, not too scary, not too bland. You get the gist.
That brings up the other “P” which is Purpose. This I see as one of the most difficult challenges for older people. Many of my clients have felt clear purpose in their earlier years – e.g. raising their children, helping with their grandchildren, serving on Boards in their communities or doing other volunteer work, working at their careers, being successful in a whole manner of ways.
Now, though, they may not be working their last paying careers. They may not be needed to watch grandchildren who are getting older and more independent. They may not feel able to commit to structured schedules in a volunteer or paid part-time job. They also may feel that they have offered to share their lifetime of accumulated, and valuable knowledge with groups, businesses, organizations, schools, etc. and felt that they were ignored or rebuffed. They feel “adrift”
This brings up the subject, then, of grief. Loss of earlier identities, loss of income, loss of value by others for their wisdom, loss of a clear path, and loss of groups of friends one makes in work-related settings.
However, the way through this, is to first acknowledge this grief. To also acknowledge that we live in an ageist society that does not typically value our elders. Our older people’s voices are too often not sought out, and not listened to, and not respected.
As they educate ourselves about ageism in our society and get support for the grief that all of these aspects engender, they begin to be able to lift their heads up above this and take a look around for where they might have purpose now in their lives.
Often they come around to asking the questions: Where am I helping someone? Who is in worse or different shape than I am that I can help and who would appreciate some attention? Can I volunteer in a hospital holding preemies, can I volunteer in an assisted living community, how about in a library or a nonprofit thrift shop? Can I volunteer taking care of a pet for someone? Can I visit a home-bound neighbor who is lonely? There are so many people in need in our country and so many understaffed nonprofits trying to help.
The point is not *what* you do, but it’s about your sense of purpose. When you are thanked from the heart by
someone for something you do, you get more from the interchange than they do! This is something many volunteers say to be true – that they get more from being volunteers, they think, than the people they help.
So, Pride, Pleasure, Purpose. A simple equation, so beautiful in its simplicity and truth.
Ageism in Modern America
Jikonsaseh first clan mother
While cruising Facebook this morning I came across an article posted by Paula Span, an author I respect so much for her insightful blog posts when she was featured as the writer for The New Old Age for the NY Times. Out of a budget cut, her weekly blog was cut but she still writes for the Times sometime and posts on her FB page. Here is the link to the article she posted which was written by the chief of geriatrics at Columbia University: America’s Bias Against Older Women Must Stop
The article has to do with the flurry of ageist comments in the media lately having to do with Caitlin Jenner. Not comments so much that were disparaging about her transformation from Bruce to Caitlin but comments that were denigrating of older women. Demeaning comments, snide jokes, general put-down’s about older bodies, in particular older female bodies.
This topic and more importantly this phenomenon is so widespread and so ubiquitous in our culture that it is overwhelming when considered. And that overwhelm can easily lead to increased poor self esteem on the part of older women, denial and fighting against “aging” thus the billions spent on anti-aging products, and depression. I see this depression so very commonly in my counseling work with older women, espeically those in their 60’s and 70’s.
There is a common thread of complaints under the heading of ageism whether we use that word or not. The experience is of: being the butt of disparaging and cruel jokes, feeling devalued, ridiculed, infantalized and invisible. of not counting, that they don’t matter.
I wonder about our fear of women and women’s power in this culture. We women do have some kind of power when we are young and beautiful. Perhaps that is instinct that we are attractive when we can procreate. Perhaps we are also considered more valuable then because we “consume” therefore Wall St and the media value us. That doesn’t make much sense tho’ when you consider that older women and older people in general are big consumers and oh by the way voters as well.
No, there is something intrinsic and deeply rooted in why this culture devalues older women to such an extent. More than they do older men although there is devaluing there too. Is it related to fear of mortality and fear of dying? Is it the fear of becoming superfluous and needy? We know that our culture puts huge emphasis on independence and me-ness. Cross interdependence is not a big part of our cultural tone. And/or does ageism towards older women have to do with latent resentment towards primary attachment figures who predominantly are mothers emerging later when our mothers or ourselves are now in a vulnerable position. Payback time in other words?
A pair of Red-tail Deer fawns follow behind Mom.
I believe that we lose out as a culture and a people when we do not value our older women and listen to what they have to teach us. Margaret Mead told a story about the old does of the red tail deer herds in Alaska. In times of drought or severe storms, it was the old does who had the memory of out of the way watering holes or sheltering cliff where they could find refuge from the storms. The herd rallied behind and old does towards safety.
I worry about this way we have of devaluing and demeaning our older women. We are in times of crisis. We need all the wisdom we can find. Denigrating and oppressing and discounting an entire segment of our population is anti-survival and anti-wisdom. I hope we can change. I hope that we boomers can push back against too-often-accept stereotyping and dismissing of older women. Our survival may just depend on it.
“The baby-boom is over and the ageing shock awaits’’: populist media shapes this image
‘‘The baby-boom is over and the ageing shock
awaits’’: populist media imagery in news-press
representations of population ageing”
from the International Journal of Ageing and Later Life, 2011 6(2): 3971.
By ANNA SOFIA LUNDGREN & KARIN LJUSLINDER
From the authors:
“We work from the supposition that media is one of the most important sources of information (cf. Curran 2002; McLuhan 1967; McQuail 2005; Schudson 2003), especially regarding phenomena that the audience does not have any direct personal experience of. On the basis of previous research we also presuppose that media content has an impact on people regarding approaches to other persons and on the way society’s resource allocation is legitimised.”
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Conclusions of the Swedish Study
The studied newspapers showed some minor differences in the way they represented population ageing. Such differences have been described as inherent in different newspaper types tabloids and newspapers and the former should not be criticised because it is unlike the latter (Connell 1998). Our main point is, however, that all the studied representations, taken together or studied separately, supported some central and partly collective features.
They unambiguously displayed population ageing as a threat, they appointed politicians and academics as experts rather than ‘‘ordinary people’’, ‘‘wage-earners’’ or ‘‘older people’’, and they seldom defined the concept of population ageing explicitly.
These features were built up and legitimised by a range of recurring patterns: the creation of
seriousness; the use of dichotomisation; and the use of emotion. While discourse theory has otherwise been said to be a blunt and abstract tool for analysing how language is used in interaction, it proved helpful for the aim of this article: to tease out and visualise the concrete articulations that constituted the aforementioned features and patterns.
The theorisation of populism by writers influenced by discourse theory further showed valuable in providing an explanation of the potential
political implications of the kinds of equivalences found in the material. Looking at the material from a perspective of populism, there were some complexities concerning the chain of equivalence constituting the ones
threatened by population ageing.
It consisted of two main positions: wageearners and older people. However, while wage-earners were exclusively positioned as threatened, the news-press did not offer any such unambiguous positions of identification for older people. Older people were rather positioned as floating signifiers sometimes conceptualised as the one most affected, even victimised, by the threat of population ageing, and at other times described as actually being guilty of population ageing.
This floating character made it somewhat more difficult to link the positions within the chain of equivalence together, and to raise general demands in its name (cf. Griggs & Howarth 2008: 125). If the logic of populism in the news-press representations were to be truly populist in the theoretical sense of the word and thus able to attract broader coalitions of people outside the news-press discourse, urging them to identify as a united collective raising collective demands as to what needs to be done in order to deal with population ageing it would need a more unequivocal scheme of the process and its involved identities: a more palatable fantasy. Such a uniting logic is inherent in many democratic struggles and is what constitutes the strength of populist reason.
However, and importantly, such a move towards an all-embracing populist logic would risk blinding us to the nuances of the political processes of population ageing (cf. Zˇ izˇek 2006). Analysing the Swedish news-press, such an absence of a multifaceted representation of population ageing is a discernible fact. With the help of populist discourse, including a sometimes powerful and hard-hitting visual imagery comprising illustrations as well as choices of words, the news-press representationsoffer dualistic rather than a plurality of positions. However, one of our key findings is that this was not accomplished solely by the articles that were ‘‘apocalyptic’’ in character.
Furthermore, articles that seemed quite different, and written from a seemingly ‘‘neutral’’ point of view, contributed to, rather than contradicted, the populist features. Taken together, the implicit choice posed to the audience (the ‘‘we’’, ‘‘us’’ or ‘‘society’’) stood between doing nothing and awaiting disaster, or following the suggested measures with the effect that a demographic situation is made to naturalise certain political ideas, making them appear administrative, rather than political in character. This is a choice that is not really a choice.
In this article, we have stayed within the frames of the news-press discourse, and we have argued that its visual imagery displays populist tendencies that work ideologically to de-politicise the issue of population ageing. These tendencies, although not devout of some ambiguity, offer certain positions for the audience. They do not say, however, how the audience will react. It has been noted that people’s responses to populist and post-political tendencies displaying ineligible choices are themselves often populist people will either protest or ignore them. One topic for further research would be to investigate how people respond to the images of population ageing that are presented by the news-press, among Media representations of population ageing others, and how such images are made comprehensible within the frames of everyday life.
Butler’s 3 Consequences of Ageism
From AgingWatch.com. Aging Watch is an independent think-tank committed to ending ageism and the social marginalization of older people.
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In 1969, Dr. Robert Butler coined the term “ageism” to describe this process of systematic stereotyping and discrimination against older persons. The three most devastating consequences of ageism include:
- The underutilization or exclusion of older peoples’ knowledge and insights in our civil discourse.
As a result of the negative stereotypes associated with growing old, elders are consistently responded to with sympathy and pity—often in the form of charity. While certainly well intentioned (and beneficial for many), this sympathy is a double-edged sword; the kindness it elicits is dripping with condescension and paternalism. Many elders are treated as vulnerable children in need of our protection and good will. And like children, the knowledge, voices, desires, concerns, choices, contributions, and opinions of elders are often devalued or dismissed altogether. “If older people are incompetent has-beens who lack self-sufficiency,” so the thinking goes, “then what could they possibly have to add to our society?” The result is that the vast knowledge and social contributions of older people are overlooked and squandered. - The poor and unfair treatment of older adults that stems from age biases.
Much like racism and sexism, ageism is a social disease that paints older adults as an “other” and fosters differential (and often unfair) treatment in many areas of life. In the workplace, for example, older job applicants are less likely to be hired, and are viewed as more difficult to train, harder to place into jobs, more resistant to change, less suitable for promotion, and expected to have lower job performances. Older workers typically suffer extended periods of joblessness after being laid off, and when they do find work, it is often at salary levels far lower than what they have earned in the past. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, age-based discrimination complaints in the workplace are currently at an all-time high. - The assault on older individuals’ identities and self-esteems.
In social interactions older people are assumed to be slow, weak, and forgetful. Researchers have documented the propensity of younger individuals to use “baby-talk” (i.e., exaggerated tone, simplified speech, and high pitch) when speaking to older adults. Elders are at risk of internalizing these low expectations, which can then lower self-esteem and foster bitterness and disillusionment. Instead of coming in contact with the harsh judgments of others, some elders become reclusive and completely withdraw from society; they become socially isolated and put themselves at increased risk for negative health outcomes (including depression, alcohol abuse, and suicide).
By addressing ageism and transforming the way our society sees older people we can appreciably enhance the lives of elders; and our social debates can benefit from an increased presence of elder wisdom.
Ageism and Mental Health Funding
Something I have run into in our society is a seemingly widespread belief that mental health services are primarily for younger people and not older individuals. I have heard people say that older people have had their chances and that mental dianabolos 10 health funding should go to young people where it can make a bigger difference. While I love young people, and think that kids need and deserve a lot of support, I also am saddened to think that there is a bias towards older people not getting mental health help.
This attitude seems to reflect our youth-oriented culture which emphasizes staying young in order to be important. Where is the care and compassion and respect due to our elders? The aging journey very often brings up old fears, old triggers of insecurity, old pains, old losses even from childhood. Why should older individuals – who have given to their communities all of their lives – not benefit from compassionate support as they continue their life journeys? Where is our culture’s realization that we need to hear the stories our older folks can tell us in order to gain from their wisdom and experience?
It seems to me as I grow older that I see our society having a shorter and shorter collective memory. After one year is over, we tend to go on and focus on immediate problems and immediate gains, forgetting the lessons we might have learned from what happened earlier.
While our country’s economy has been severely impacted in recent years, it has been enormously helpful to me to listen to elders’ tips about how they got through the trying years of the Great Depression and WWII. As Joan Erikson explained once, “wisdom” is not necessarily about knowing “why” but about knowing “how”.
I hope that a fair portion of mental health funding allocated by government at different levels will go to mental health services for older people. It behooves us to take care of our elders, to listen to their stories and to afford them the respect they deserve. They are survivors. We need them. We can learn things from them!