Awakening Into Conscious Aging
“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”
David Bowie
“Frank on his bicycle” Photo by Marianne Gontarz York
There’s no single road map for how your older years will be. You may not know what to expect except what you have seen and experienced from other family members or friends. But, your older years may be very different from theirs.
Many of my clients in their 80s and 90s come to see me because they want a safe, confidential sounding board where they can voice and explore their concerns and experiences. They also seek guidance from an expert in the field of aging who can provide some insight, answers, and solutions. As a geriatric therapist, I specialize in counseling and consulting that addresses the very unique and multi-faceted situations, concerns, and, yes gifts, encountered in middle and older life.
Here Are Some Situations Commonly Addressed In Sessions
- “I seem to want to stay home more than I used to. My adult kids worry that I’m depressed and are always telling me to get out more. I start to wonder if they’re right. Is this normal at my age or is there something wrong with me?
- “I feel very lonely. I’ve lost many of my friends and loved ones, and I am missing a sense of community. I can’t talk with my kids – instead of listening, they just try to fix it. I know they love me but they don’t understand.”
- “My spouse has died. At first, I felt numb, bereft. It’s still taking me a while to get back on my feet. People tell me I need to move on or even get a pet! How long does grieving take? How do I do this? Who am I know?”
- “My daughter is my primary caregiver. She says she’s happy to do it, but I can see that stress is swamping her – she works and has a husband and kids. What are some ideas for how we might arrange things to make life easier for both of us?
- “I moved into a retirement community recently. It’s nice, but I miss my home. People told me it takes a month to settle in. It’s been longer than that. How can I make new friends here? Will I ever feel at home here?”
- “Fears about the future wake me up at night. I worry about how I will be able to handle growing old and more dependent on others. I worry about my finances, my health, and my family, about things changing. This anxiety feels hard and bad. Can you help me feel better?”
- “I seem to be getting so forgetful. I worry that I’m losing it! Am I ok? Or is there something wrong with me? Can you give me some reassurance and insight?”
And here’s how people report feeling better:
- “I’m treating myself with a lot more loving kindness and forgiveness. My healing has started beginning with me not criticizing myself so much! I am learning about what is normal at this age.”
- “I feel less lonely and isolated, and calmer, accepting and peaceful.”
- “I don’t feel as anxious or overwhelmed. I have a plan now that includes clear, small, and manageable steps. I’m making progress!”
- “My relationship with my adult kids and grandkids is less problematic. I understand them better and am able to help them understand me better too.”
- “I feel hopeful and am allowing myself to have more fun now!”
- “I am able to recognize the full range of my lifelong coping strengths. I’m discarding old habits and “shoulds” that no longer fit me. I’m learning all kinds of new ways to enjoy my life as it continues to unfold.”
- “I’m more confident advocating for myself with my doctors and other people in my life.”
- I have a stronger support team that is connected and communicating well. I feel held and not alone.”
Conscious Aging Support Groups
Often, I am asked to lead discussions and/or support groups such as the one below. If you’re interested in being part of such a group or getting one started, let’s talk. This photo is of a meditation group I was honored to help establish at a local retirement community. They have been meeting each week for many years to learn, practice, and support each other with humor and grace. And, yes, that’s me sitting in the front row.
If you want to explore the benefits of working with me, feel free to call for a free 20-minute consultation at 415-378-6577. You can tell me what’s going on with you and/or your loved one, feel out if you’d like to schedule a session, and then we’ll get going towards some relief for you!
